Dear Nat-Nat,
You’re now 2 years, 5 months and 4 days old. And my, are you growing up fast.
By fast, I don’t mean height or weight because it looks like you’ve inherited your dad’s short and scrawny genes, unfortunately; looks like you got the short end of the stick…
But your maturity and comprehension has been progressing so quickly. I thought that these would be your terrible twos but you’ve been easier to manage and more responsible during this season.
What always amazes me nowadays is your ability to understand context and sense what I mean.
Just yesterday, I came home from work and stopped by the room where you were lying on the bed watching TV. The moment you saw me, you jumped up screaming, “MY DADDY! My daddy’s home!” I gave you a hard hug and you gave me a fierce kiss.
Then I told you I needed to take my dinner and walked out from the room while you went back to recline on the bed. At the doorway, I stopped and turned around with a small grin on my face. Immediately you jumped up again, ran and jumped into my arms while I walked towards the bed.
Somehow you could sense exactly what I intended. And it might sound like a small thing but it was immensely significant to me when I reflected back on it as I ate dinner.
You know how you’re in a phase where you can ask ‘why’ around 20 times before you’re satisfied with any explanation? Well, the other day, we were having breakfast at the hawker centre. After I finished eating, I walked over and picked you up to go for a walk while the others finished their food.
Nat: Papa, where are we going?
Me: We’re going outside.
Nat: Oh, yay! … Why?
Me: Because I want to take you for a walk.
Nat: Oh, why?
Me: Because you are my daughter and I like to spend time with you.
(I braced myself for another 20 questions because that’s how our conversations usually go and she never gets bored.)
Nat: Oh! (She then proceeds to give me a hug and lay her cheek on my shoulder as I continued carrying her outside. No more questions…)
Once again, it sounds like a small thing but it was like you were starting to have a deeper, gentle understanding of how much your mommy and I love you.
And the time when I felt it most strongly that you were growing up was when I decided to test you a couple of weeks ago.
We had to wake you up from your afternoon nap before you were ready because we needed to head to church. You absolutely hate your afternoon nap being disrupted. You would cry and complain, and because we were really rushing this time round, mommy tried to pacify you with…jelly beans!
She gave you two of your favourite flavours and you carefully held them in your hand to enjoy them slowly. After you put one into your mouth, you came to me and told me with a big smile, “mama gave me jelly beans”. Big mistake.
I asked for the second one in your hand. You said no and that you wanted it. So I said, “but daddy really wants one, would you share it with me?” I honestly would have let you have it if you said no again but you slowly and reluctantly held it out without looking at me.
I opened my mouth to see if you’d put it in for me and you did it with profound sadness in your eyes. Then as you watched me start chewing, you teared up and you turned around and walked away slowly while looking downwards.
My heart literally broke into a million pieces. But I waited until you had walked out of sight into a different room before I sprinted to the fridge to get a new jelly bean for you. I then found you in your room with tears still in your eyes, walked next to you and ‘accidentally’ dropped it into one of your hands.
Your expression was priceless.
“For me??? Really??? Oh! Green! It’s my favourite colour!”
Sheer delight.
I don’t know if I ended up happier that day or whether you did. I suspect the former.
So you see…you are growing up to be an amazing girl full of perception and grace. You’re still shy and fussy around those you are unfamiliar with so I feel so privileged to be among the first to see some of these truly beautiful and special characteristics which you are developing.
And I’m sure that once you are ready to show the world, they are going to be in for a real treat when they discover the real Nat-Nat, the most incredible little girl.
I love you.
Love,
Dad
