We survived.
*Deep breath*
It still hasn’t hit me that we’ve survived the first week.
I know there are some kids who will be able to adjust their first couple of days at school easier. Nat’s not one of those children. She’s extremely sensitive, highly emotional and reactive, and very resistant to new situations.
No matter how much we prepared her, it was always going to be a challenge. Over the last three months, we’ve brought her for a Saturday morning music class. We also expose her to Sunday school at church. And my wife has even accompanied her a few times for a trial day at the preschool.
But dropping her off on her first official day, leaving her with her teachers and walking away was always going to be an emotional train wreck for Nat.
The bad: She cries at night before she sleeps thinking about school the next day. She cries when she wakes up and refuses to put on her uniform. She cries in the car all the way to preschool and when I drop her off. I’ve never seen her cry so much and whether I care to admit it or not, it affects me.
The good: If what the teachers say is true, she stops crying 20 minutes after I leave and doesn’t cry for the rest of the day. They are surprised that she can speak so well and has been starting to be friendlier as well. And when my wife picks her up after, she’s not been crying; she excitedly tells her mummy all about her day every time.
The bad: She hates me. I’m a horrid father. As much as I dislike it, I’m the enforcer in the home. So if she doesn’t put on her uniform, I come with a cane and ask her, “Do you prefer daddy with the cane to put on your uniform, or mummy with her hugs?” And when I drop her off, there’s no extended goodbye; I give her one hug, one kiss and hand her over to her teacher, then I walk away without turning back. From the beginning, she’s never even called out to me, she’s just screaming “I want mummy” because she knows she’ll get no sympathy from me.
The good: None. What can be good about her hating me? At least she’s not one to hold a grudge and is still happy to see me and talk to me when I get back from work…
The bad: So many people are concerned about her and don’t want to see her go through what seems like a rather traumatic season.
The good: She’s coping far better than I expected. For her to stop crying so soon after I leave her at the school and even have fun and start making friends there so quickly is definitely something I thank God for. She's always been so picky about who she befriends...
The bad: A lot of people have come up to me concluding that it’s way too early for her to be in school and that is the reason she’s reacting like this. There are many other comments and friendly advice from others but this one is the most common and has made me ask the question many times this week.
The good: Even after reflecting, I believe it’s the right choice for our family at this point of time. Nat has adapted faster than I could have imagined knowing her personality. I don’t think it would have been any different if I started her a year later; she’s always been like this. She’s learning new things, making new friends and comes home with so many happy stories to tell. I’m at peace with starting her this week.
I don’t know how long the crying will last. Maybe one month, maybe two. But I am certain that I’ll be following through with this all the way. All I can do is continue to be consistent and pray and trust God that He will bring her through in a positive way.
It’s probably a good thing that she starts to learn to cope with some ‘sadness’ since she gets her way all the time anyway.
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