(Just to clarify, this in the context of finances and not bridezilla, although the latter is just as significant...)
In the second half of last year, I got married. And I don't know if this is an Asian thing or just particularly prominent in my family, but when you want to get married, you better have ALL your ducks in order before you even consider taking such a big step of commitment.
This means that your career and job should be in a pretty good state, your finances should be in order and you have sufficient savings to undertake the cost of a wedding and marriage, because the good Lord knows that it will burn a hole the size of Vesuvius in your pocket, bank account, credit card and anything else that can burn.
At the same time, if you're a guy marrying a Chinese girl, her dad will usually need to know you can take good care of his precious princess before entrusting her to you. At the same time, the mom will need to be satisfied with the dowry that you are giving to 'purchase' your wife.
Sounds daunting, doesn't it? Are you sure you still want to get married? I know, I asked myself the same question as well but with all the mountains of requirements looming, if a guy can still look at a girl and say "I absolutely still want to spend the rest of my life with this woman, through thick or thin, fat or skinny", then she's truly the one, isn't she?
So how do you survive then? There's the pre-wedding costs, the actual wedding costs and the post-wedding costs, which when tallied up appears near impossible to deal with comfortably.
But...I'll cover these in future posts as this is just a general introduction to the topic.
However, if you're planning to propose or get married during this period, I hope that you have been preparing for this possibility for awhile now; starting to save right before getting married is foolhardy (unless you are extremely rich already, have extremely wealthy parents, or are currently being paid extremely above what you deserve).
Ideally, it would be good to start saving a year before the wedding. Map out the projected costs associated with the wedding and work out what you will need to save each month in order to achieve your targets. Even if you're not perfectly on target as the date approaches, at least you'll have a personal fund available although you may need to reevaluate the original budget and what you spend on.
The trickiest thing is probably how to strike the right balance between what she wants, what her family wants, what your family wants and the funds you have available (notice how I left out what you want?). If you're able to walk this tightrope act and give her all the emotional support she needs at the same time, you've done a stand up job!
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