Nice guys

In the marketplace, many times nice guys do finish last.

There was a recent study by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology which showed that nice guys had a far lower average income than those who were meaner.

To a certain extent, I’ll have to agree with this.

Those who try to be too nice and who need to constant feedback about whether everyone is all right with a certain decision will usually be terribly inefficient. The truth is that everyone will have their own person opinion and sometimes there are many good opinions – the key to execution then, is to have solid unity and buy in for one good option. It’s difficult to get this consensus effectively when you give the impression that you always need the affirmation of others in order to feel confident enough to make a decision.

Also, you generally appear more confident when you’re a jerk unless your ‘meanness’ is driven by insecurity. It needs to be driven by an insatiable desire for excellence that makes you always demand higher heights from those around you and yourself – to win and to be the best. But that pursuit for excellence will usually make you rather choleric and at times a slave driving task master. And if you’re a manager, this will often even help you ‘weed’ out those who don’t have the same desire for progress and excellence; they usually quit.

You are less of a doormat and those around you know that when push comes to shove, you don’t mind being the one shoving in order to protect what is right…if what you’re fighting for is indeed the right thing. You tend to be more ambitious and a go-getter, and are more likely to take charge in the face of tough situations and challenges rather than shying away.

Of course, being of a meaner variety doesn’t mean that you are cruel. It’s clear that emotional intelligence is extremely important in order to move forward today, and essentially there must be a correct balance which holds yourself and others around you accountable to high standards, and at the same time doesn’t kill their heart and spirit…unless they deserve it. There are certain boundaries to follow such as staying away from backstabbing and unethical politicking but you should be able to go up to your boss anytime with your elevator pitch to sell yourself directly.

The question is, will you be meaner for the sake of getting ahead?

Categories: Leadership, Work