Fulltime

You know, I’ve always admired those who go fulltime in church or charity work in Malaysia.

In a society which values financial security and materialism so much, you really have to come to terms with sacrificing material things because your remuneration will usually be very low and you will often put in very long hours not confined to a 9 to 5 type job.

This means that you will need to have such a strong passion and unwavering belief in the cause to step into this type of vocation. And it can be a thankless role where people don’t appreciate you and you feel exploited because of what you are asked to give constantly. Especially when you start looking around at those who seem to be gaining so much more from less ‘noble’ professions and many times, less ‘noble’ methods of getting that reward.

So you can’t rely on the affirmation of people to sustain you – it has to be from the cause itself or from God.

That a purpose is worthy enough to enable a person to give up so much is at times surprising in itself. That a person willingly commits to it for a good part of their lives is seriously commendable.

And I believe that there’s no shame in someone who went into this vocation fulltime and gave a good 10 years and then left for the secular marketplace again. There are those called for a season and specific purpose, and I sometimes get frustrated when people talk about my previous pastor who went back to the marketplace as though she did something wrong or as though she failed in her call.

She raised up many leaders during her season. She was called for that specific purpose. And when I keep track of all those in the core group she mentored, they are all still faithfully serving either in fulltime or as lay leaders, and still fully passionate for God and His purposes. There are not many pastors who have been in ministry many times longer who have raised up leaders making the impact they are.

So yeah, I admire them. But interestingly, it’s a bit different when it’s my wife.

I really should admire her more and give her my full support but it’s different because it’s ‘our’ decision and not hers alone. And it’s not only what she’s giving up but also what we’re giving up as a family.

On one hand, I know the call that is on her life and don’t doubt it. I know that things will work out because of the decision she has made to honour God and I try to support along as much as possible, both in terms of supporting her financially and emotionally, and also in what I give in my own ministry as a fulltimer’s spouse.

On the other hand, when there are financial worries, it’s sometimes extraordinarily difficult to have faith that everything will work out. At this point, even as we set up in a new home, just got a new car and also have all the baby expenses rolling in, it’s so easy to worry and wonder how we’re ever going to make ends meet.

I take heart in knowing that God has always been faithful to our family. The fact that we could even consider getting a new, safer car and a new home close to our parents was an unexpected miracle. We’ve given baby Nat nothing but the best so far and never had to compromise on our purchases for her. And my ever expanding waistline also testifies that I do not need to eat less in order to get by.

I will continue to put my trust in the One who has provided no matter how impossible the odds seem.

Categories: Church, Leadership