Dear Natalie,
My baby girl is turning one in a few days!
I thought that when I thought back on the first year, the strongest memories would be of exhaustion, sacrifice and the things I’ve missed out on ever since you came along.
Instead, I’m all smiles.
Every moment, every experience, every tear and every giggle has touched my heart in a deep place I never knew existed. It’s been truly wonderful.
Our ‘conversations’ while your mother slept while you were still in her tummy. I’d whisper to you and feel you kicking in response.
Your rush to be born only less than 2 hours after we arrived at the hospital. The doctor wrapped you in a blanket, with blood still all over you, and that day you were the first baby I’d ever held.
It took you awhile to trust me to take care of you after your mother started going back to work on weekends but once you did, I’d let you fall asleep on my chest and I would not get bored doing nothing but holding you for sometimes an hour or more at a time.
The first time you kissed me on the cheek. The first time you put your head on my shoulder, closed your eyes and said “Papa”.
The first time you held my hand and walked across the room. The first time you let go of my hand and walked across the room yourself.
That cheeky smile that no one taught you…yes, that one where you scrunch up your nose and smile so wide that you can no longer see your eyes.
Even if it were the end of the world and you gave me that smile, I’d laugh out loud, run to you and swing you around, then give you the biggest hug.
The first time my heart almost exploded with fear because I thought you had injured yourself badly. And then the cold shivers I got when I realised how much worse it could have been, how sharp the corner was and how high you fell from.
I was so scared. Firstly, because of the accident. And later, because of your mother.
The times I wake up and realise you’ve crawled up from your mattress on the floor to our bed which is quite high up, and that you’re sitting right next to me about to slap my face with both your hands…yes, you know, the way you try to wake me up.
It’s true that when you have children, you learn to love like you’ve never loved before.
It’s been an amazing year. And I’ll tell you a secret: your mummy’s actually asking me when we can start trying for number 2. Shhhhhhhhh…
I thought she wouldn’t consider it for at least 3 years but this shows how wonderful life with you has been to the extent that even knowing how much of a sacrifice it will be, she still wants another.
So here's to a great year, and many greater years ahead.
Love,
Dad
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