‘Face’ is very important to us Chinese and we always talk to about saving face.
And this has absolutely nothing to do with what I’m going to write about today.
But recently, while I was driving home from work, I was thinking about the ‘first face’ that you show your child and how important it is to them. Yes, I do think of very weird and random things when I’m stuck in traffic alone…
Particularly for young children, I believe that one of the ways you can build up their sense of self-worth is in that first contact you make with them after coming home from work.
Before you find out whether they were naughty or good that day from the babysitter. Before they act like an angel in front of you. Before they show or tell you the incredible things they achieved that day.
What is the face they see when you open the front door and they realise you are home?
Are you genuinely happy to see them, as though you had been anxiously waiting to see them the whole day, just waiting to sweep them up in your arms, give a bear hug and a big kiss on the cheek? Or are they standing back and waiting to see what kind of mood and expression you have on your face before approaching you?
And it’s not easy. Especially when your day at work was just pure crap and exhausting and tedious…There are times you want to just go home, ignore everyone and either vegetate in front of the TV or crash on the bed.
But on the whole, I’ve found it rather fulfilling to get my game face on before I walk through the door (even though I don’t manage to do it every day). It’s progressed to the point where many times when I’m driving home, I’m planning out a schedule of activities to make her face light up for the evening.
I’d be deciding on which park or playground to take her, whether to sneak out for ice cream after dinner (not too often, of course!), bringing her for a walk around the mall, or visiting my parents to surprise them. By the time I get home, I’ve got a whole agenda lined up.
And more often than not, it works.
In fact, I don’t remember one single time when we would get home after where she wasn’t bursting with laughter and impatience to tell her mummy everything she had done that evening.
Maybe once she stops appreciating these moments, I’ll feel more reluctant to expend so much time and energy on them. But for now, we’re having a blast.
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