Apparently, there’s this interesting category I fall under called ‘Third Culture Kid’ (TCK) as a result of my family moving around to many countries during my childhood.
I left Malaysia when I was only 7 years old and by the time I came back at 16 years old, it was inevitable that I would never fully belong to a specific country’s culture; the people I could relate to best would be from a similar background embracing a shared way of life assimilating many different cultures into a distinct new one.
TCK’s usually find it hard to build long-term, in-depth relationships because they are used to moving around so much. They can build great relationships in the present but the moment they leave, they then focus on building new ones in the new place rather than on maintaining old ties. Many even choose careers that allow them to travel or live overseas.
They are a restless bunch, always afraid to get stuck in a rut and always wanting new experiences and adventures. Most marry at an older average age and have kids later in their lives so they have more flexibility to move. Many come to a place where they are willing to change careers and vocations completely in order to pursue their passions and dreams without placing much priority on job and financial security.
Looking at these characteristics, it seems like I’ve bucked the trend. I have been back in my home country for over 12 years now. I’ve worked in my current company for almost 7 years although I have been in many positions and different departments over the years. I married a year and a half ago, which is still younger than most of my peers and I have had my first baby, hopefully the first of several more.
But that’s not to say that all the patterns of behavior described don’t fit me. It’s constantly bubbling below the surface making me restless to move somewhere and to keep introducing changes in my life to stop me from constantly feeling like I’m in a rut.
It’s an ongoing struggle to keep it in check sometimes. I want to travel. I want to work in a different country. I want to learn new things. And the things I have are undoubtedly good – my family, my job and career, my church and ministry, my home – but they don’t represent change to me.
That being said, I’m probably not going to ever give in to it. I recognise that this is the life I’ve chosen and on almost every level, I’m content with what I have and with the life I live. The ‘urges’ are going to have to wait for a different lifetime.
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